i had to get this out. but i hope he wont see this. i heard news about -HIM-. -HIM- who i thought i had forgotten. -HIM- who i could simply love all my life. as he was talking about -HIM-. i try to hide my uneasiness and i smile as i questioned about -HIM-. pretending that nothing about -HIM- matters to me. i was sitting there as he fade into the distance. i sat still dazing into the empty space. i realised i havent forgotten -HIM-. i fight back the emotions within me. i couldnt let him know that -HE- is still on my mind for i know he will be upset. i have always believe in letting the person you love go. all i want is for -HIM- to be happy because love is about seeing the person you love find happiness. and i know that -HE- has found his happiness. it time to move on. but why am i stuck here? i have been stuck here for so long without realising while he had already moved on. looking back. i was contented being together with -HIM-. i gave all that i could. it just felt so right. -HE- was just the one. or probably i thought so. not really an exciting but just a stable relationship. -HE- was all that i could ask for. i didnt blame -HIM- or anyone for the outcome. i merely accept it. as i try to put behind the trauma. one side of me is telling myself that -HE- isnt that great after all. unloyal and that attitude of -HIS-. i would be the party giving all the time and -HE- would be receiving. i try to convince myself that i wouldnt be happy in the long run. now that -HE- has found -HIS- happiness and got -HIS- desserts. someone more attitude than -HIM-. i should be happy. but the other side of me simply cant forget -HIM-. it's been so long. -HE- should have been out of my mind. i dont harbour any hopes. because i know it is never possible. but when the scar heal? when will the time comes when i no longer be interested in -HIS- affairs? i want to forget -HIM- even if it means forgetting the memories we once shared. regrets there will not be for i knew i treasured those times then. probably subconsciously i knew the outcome. all that is left now. but one thing for sure. i need badly to get -HIM- out of my mind.

since i step into the office. i haven had the time to rest at all. i've been working non-stop for... *calculating* 7 1/2 hour. amazing. i even missed lunch. but not like im in the mood for lunch. really unbelievable. im becoming a workaholic. help..! finally. i have some little time to relax for a moment. been chasing after time the entire day. walking up and down the office. great exercise but damn exhausted now. i really hope i didnt left out anything. but i guess at the end of the day. it feels great. its an achievement. this week is really a hectic week. im working 7days a week. 9 hours daily. hope everything goes smoothly through the week.

fcuk! i just got lectured by someone. simply had to spoil my day. i wonder what the person derives from it. thanks man. i just lose appetite! really damn bloody fedup. yea. push all the blame to me. im unreasonable. im at fault. you are always right. ALWAYS! im always the one at wrong. im a sinner. i would just like to sincerely say a very big thank you to the person for spoiling my entire day. if your intention is so. you succeeded. congrats!

im beginning to have a very negative feeling towards those who dont keep track of time. dont have the courtesy to be punctual again and again. so irresponsible. i now understand how lateness piss people off and spoil people's day. not the first. not the second. nor the third. countless and countless of times. bear in mind that apologising only helps the first. the second and probably the third. but NOT always. ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS! its driving me crazy. im really utterly disappointed. im numb. my heart feeling so dead. but im trying to suppress all my emotions until the day when no more can be tolerated and everything just explodes. apologising is just pointless and not necessary cos its not gonna help the least. im sure im already being tolerant enough.

i just realised i had forgotten to update on my attachment status. i have finished serving my 11 weeks of attachment last last friday which is the 17 june. which means i have graduated..! yeah~ i have already handed my report last wednesday. im currently working in my attachment company as a temp. but i guess i gotta start typing my resume and sending them out. otherwise. i be out of job then.

my alarm clock rang at 7.30 as usual. i realise the alarm was ringing only when my grandma tapped me. it must have rang for quite some time. i switched off the alarm and went back to sleep. the next thing i knew. it was 8. i quickly took a shower and packed my stuff. left home only at 8.40. ken promised to come fetch me today but he didnt turned up. i called him and he was still sleeping. i knew i be late so i took a cab. didnt want the whole matter to affect my mood. i didnt flare up. probably im in a good mood today cos i get to come out into the light after cooping at home for the whole of yesterday.

ken came during lunch and we went tampines mall for lunch. phin's steakhouse. the food was alright although i had a hard time cutting up my food. we actually intend to take the elevator but there was way too many people so ken suggested taking the escalator. as we were riding on the escalator. i could see perlini from where im standing. i recalled that they are having a promotion every week so i was wondering what is on discount this week. i bought a ring last week but is now in ken's car. on his pooh bear. my favourite ring. they were having 30% discount on pendants. ahh.. its time to change my pendant. to get rid of the past cos it was a gift from my ex-boyfriend. i was trying too look for a nice one but nothing appeals me. i was determine to get one pendant today so i decided on a design of a key. i told the sales assistant to get me a new piece. i was browsing at the display on the other side. i spotted 2 much nicer pendants. 1 of them is 4 hearts combined together in an almost square shape with a little diamond in the centre and the other is a pendant of a gal with long hair sitting on the ground with her legs folded. i think it looks so kinky. simply love it. i ended up buying both of them. so happy. the more i look at it. the more i love it.

busy day at work. after lunch. i simply had no time to rest. not mentioning even a sip of water. im still in the office now. going home soon. to think i actually stayed till 7+ when i could go at 6. and they dont pay me for overtime. hah.

i got up at 11. washed up and had wanton noodles my uncle bought for breakfast. i sat on the couch watched television. one programme after another. so bored. i munched on dried food. titbits. apple. haw. drank plain water. apple juice. lime juice. the whole time i was just watching television. cant even use computer cos my cuzzie (alaric) took my notebook home yesterday and my cuzzies (marcus and mervin) are using the computer in my uncle's room. my bro's computer cant receive signal from the router. later. when there was nothing interesting on television. i read newspapers and magazines. lime magazine. teenage magazine. whatever magazine that was there and i havent read. at 6. i took a bathe. soon. it was dinnertime. the moment i saw the bowls of rice on the table. i exclaimed. are the rice free today? i secretly took my bowl back into the kitchen and scooped away more than half of the rice in my bowl. haha. i finished my dinner in like less than 10 minutes. didnt felt hungry. and again. watched television till 10+. that was my sunday spent at home to please my aunt. so bored.

i woke up at 10+. took a shower and sat on the couch watched television and munched snacks. at 12+. i left home with aunt. we took a bus to simei then transfer to train. we alighted at somerset. john little. was supposed to purchase some stuff which was on offer. the validity date was 27 june to 3rd july. back at home. i asked my aunt what was the date today and she said 27 june. but it turned out that it was 25 june. what a wasted trip. but nonetheless. i bought my hydrating gel and St Ives body and hand lotion.

after buying all the necessary stuff. we went over to cityhall to meet my cuzzies, emily and alaric and my aunt (younger). we had dim sum for lunch at the raffles city shopping centre. thereafter. we bought hagen daz ice cream. shopped at giordano. i bought a dry-fit pants. wanted black but got no size so buy navy blue. a normal pink top and a black polo tee. emily bought a yellow spag top. all for just less than 4 bucks. haha. cos my aunt got 50 bucks voucher.

finally we went to robinsons. the main motive we went to raffles city shopping centre. we tested the mattress texture and made our choice. the salesman was such a sweet talker and not mentioning patient. he just got great customer service. my aunts ordered 9 or 10 beds from him last year november. during this 7 months. my aunts made several changes but the salesman wasnt the least annoyed or irritated. by the time we left robinsons. it was 5pm. the salesman mentioned about the roads around this area are blocked due to NDP rehearsal. i was worried about how ken could get here. i called him and the conclusion was for me to stay put.

few minutes later. he said the jam was really really terrible. so i took the train to somerset and met him at the car park. we went to bugis and i bought my sunglasses from next. hurray~! another item off my wishlist. he sent me home to get my stuff and we headed to jb. the previous time. we got lost on the way to angsana. so he suggested going angsana and he assured that he wouldnt get lost. we arrived angsana at 8.30 and there was nothing there to shop for. i wouldnt suggest anyone to go there. we then went to holiday plaza and i bought the snacks for home. just before we went to holiday plaza. he sent his car for washing. after we bought some drinks. we walked over to the place where he sent his car for washing. i waited at the side while he went to check out some accessories. he spent 60 ringgit in total for washing his car and changing his windscreen wipers. when they were done. we went for dinner. by the time we left the eating place. it was 12.30. the jam was rather terrible. ken tried his best and i arrived my old house at 1.30. took my stuff and went home. aunt was still awake. kenna scolding. haiz. nothing's new.

the next time must go in earlier. if not no time to go shopping. so sad. didnt manage to buy anything.

my sup was on leave yesterday and she took urgent leave today. so bored. helped my other colleagues do some stuff. in the late afternoon. one of my colleague asked me to dub a tape. but the dubbing machine was taken so i went for a breather outside. later. someone told me that mel looking around the whole office for me. i quickly went back in and realise that not only mel was looking for me. cus, khairun and marcia were also looking for me. argh. felt bad.

was walking home after work. i called reys. she was at orchard with linli. eil and chanel were meeting them later. thought of meeting them since so long never meet. she said she would let me know later their plans for the night. she didnt reply so i msg her. she said no more tickets for movies so they were going to slack at orchard. was rather tired and lazy so i gave it a miss.

my cuzzie's birthday today..! she's 22 this year. during my lunch break today. i took a cab to tampines CPF building to pick up my aunt then we went to carlton hotel, wah lok restaurant for lunch. yeah~! favourite place to eat dim sum. haha. i was back in the office at around 2.45.

since young. i always leave nice things for her. if i wasnt wrong. she used to like my mum's fried rice. then usually whenever my mum cook fried rice. i will leave some for her. i pack it nicely in a container and call her to pass it to her. now. everyone is busy with their own stuff and their own life. but once in a while. i would buy brownie or chessie stuff for her. probably i just like to make people happy. i enjoy planning and giving my friends surprises.

i still remember days when we were young. she has always been responsible and shes always a leader. prefect in primary school and counsellor in secondary school. whenever someone bullys me in primary school. she would be there protecting me and whenever there is anything. my teacher would go to her class to look for her. like when im sick. she has always been a great sister taking good care of me.

nowadays. we often quarrel and argue even over the most trival matter. but things would be over before we know it. i have always love her and would pamper her if i could just like she would. im protective of her in a way. just hate it when shes unhappy. shes currently attached. i just hope that she is as clear-minded as she has always been. know what shes doing. all i wished for her is to be happy. she has not been pampering herself for a long long time. she used to buy armani exchange. levis. just all the branded stuff. i feel sad for her just as much as her closest friends. but as long as shes happy. we would feel happy for her.

I rushed my report from like 11+ to 1pm. its all that mr lee. supposing we should hand in 1 week within the period our attachment ends but due to time constraint blah blah blah. by the time im done with it. it was 1.15. yea yea. i took a long time. im a perfectionist. i just had to make sure that everything is done properly. i rushed down to school. was really lucky cos i saw mr lee the moment i pushed the door open. i passed it to him and went to jalan kayu for a quick lunch with ken. i got back to office at 2.10.

at 4.30. there was this meeting, 'new DNI marketing guidelines' No idea what it is cos it doesnt even exist. it was a birthday surprise meant for one of the colleague, dennis. everyone was in the room by the time he came in cos harry made him print lotsa stuff before the ''meeting" to stall time. the moment he came in. everyone said surprise and sang birthday song. after eating the cake. everyone went back to work. a short celebration

basically nothing much to do at work. boring. i would rather have loads of work to do. boring me. have been addicted to blogging recently. argh. help! i was caught blogging yesterday by my supervisor. haha. but relieved that she didnt say anything much.

after work on friday. i went home and took a short nap. i got up at 6.30pm. showered. dressed up. i took a bus to simei then transfer to train. realised i was rather late so i alighted at tanah merah and took a cab. i board the cab and the first thing i said to the uncle in chinese was 'uncle, can go three places?' the uncle was puzzled. he thought i was weird. one person going three places. but obviously not right. any normal person would most likely guess that im picking up friends. so he was saying. that shouldnt be the way you ask. 'you should ask uncle, can you fetch me to novena to fetch a friend, then to bishan to fetch another friend. lastly send us to mediacorp.' long-winded. that was not it. there he was talking about demons, sins, reincarnation, practising arts.. how i wished he could give me a moment of peace. later. reys called and say she is going over to bishan so i do not need to go novena. finally we reached bishan. eil, reys and eunice board the cab. e uncle was quieter cos reys and eil was talking. we arrived at mediacorp at around 8pm. the superstar competition was supposed to start at 8.30 but we were only seated at 9.30. the whole shooting ends at 11+.. a rather good experience of how a shooting is done.

i called for a cab and rushed down to holland village. mediacorp was very near holland. the cab excluding booking charges is 3.80. i walked to wala wala and queued at the cashier counter. waited for like half an hour alone. i ordered and paid for my drink. i proceed to the live band area. finally met grace. she was with 3 others who were supin friends. we took pictures and chat while waiting for the band's round 3. rather nice but i preferred the other band that played the previous time i came. we left the place around 1+. ken came to fetch us at 2. my aunt was still awake when i got home. she didnt seem too happy.

saturday morning. i got up at 11. showered and sat in front of the television waiting for ken's call. he overslept and i met him only at 1.30. he sent me home to get my stuff then to suntec to get rachel's pressie. i bought a set of yellow nightie from rey's shop, lasenza. we went to grab a quick bite at cafe cartel. after lunch. he drove me to geylang. hhis workplace. i took a cab from there to rachel's chalet. was rather difficult to find. i went to the wrong place and had to make a big contour. shortly after i arrived. alvin drove rachel, weili, rachel's mum and i for late lunch at changi. didnt ate cos wasnt hungry at all. he then drove us back and picked up sab, eil, jess and jodi at the bus stop. later. weili and i accompanied him to get his liquor but could get it cos it is considered a rare liquor. we went back to the chalet. gossiped a little. talk about school and stuff. lin came later. have pretty much fun. ken came at 12 to pick lin and me up. then he went to fetch adeline and weiyi. thereafter send lin home. we proceeded to sentosa. got there at around 1.15 cos ken kinda lost his way. met my cuzzie and her friends. the rave party was the most boring party i have ever been. left at 3+. we went to orchard partyworld and sang till 5.30. ken everyone home. he picked my mum, bro, bro friend and mum friend to airport. my mum entered the departure gate at around 7. finally he sent me home. i showered and slept at 8.

6 hours later. i got up. sunday afternoon. i called grace and asked her if qin and lyd was there already. i showered and took a bus to her place. they were discussing about christ and stuff. rather interesting. learnt a little more about christ. the session ended at 4.30. we went to grace room. chat a little and watched grace packed her first aid kit and upload songs into her ipod. i left her home at 6.15. i walked to cuzzie house and she showed me the design plan for our savanah room. wasnt quite pleased. i went back to my old house to get some stuff. while walking home. i called ken and complained to him about the design. he is the only person besides the family family who had seen the house. the conversation ended with me feeling worse than before. after i adjust my emotions. i went to my grandma house for dinner. i blogged till 10.10. was so tired i fell asleep rather soon.

hectic weekend. but had much fun thou aunt wasnt happy bout it.

lots of people like to compare. especially the older generation. comparing results. behaviour. everyone wants to be the best in everything they do. okie. not everyone but at least for me. probably because im an aries. i seek perfection in things i do and i always do my best but there is also the otherwise. i do give up if i cannot keep up the pace or standard.

i categorize comparison into 3 types. first is comparing yourself to another. secondly comparing someone to another and lastly. being compared to others by someone. for the last category. almost everyone dont like to be compared cos every individual is unique and different in their own ways with different character and perception. but i do believe comparison has its pro. some people when being compared strive harder to be better than the other. as for the second category. its actually the same as the last. just that when people are comparing someone to another. the fact that people dont like to be compared just slipped out of their mind. most people flare up when being compared.

coming back to the first category. jealousness and envy is the nature in us. there are many reasons why some people envy others around them. some reasons are having a great family, partner, friends, job.. it may be anything. as mentioned above. the pro of comparison is some would strive harder and the con is just the opposite. people either strive harder to a higher level or feel worse about themselves. lowering their morale. how many times have we envy friends for having wonderful partners? as they envy others and feel worse about themselves. they start to be unsatisfied about their life and people around. and this may lead to some being more and more demanding. this comparison may just drive people nuts. i guess we should learn to be more appreciative and to use a good and positive view to look at our own life and people around. probably then we would feel happy about our own lives. but it isnt easy.

comparing? good or bad? i think it really defers from person to person

the time now is 12.39. since morning 9am till now. i felt extreme frustration twice. so frustrated i could burst into tears. someone stood me up. not once but twice. fantastic. within 3 1/2 hours. i nearly cried twice. sorry is not gonna help and explanation is just not necessary.

the truth always hurt. but many want to hear the truth yet fear hearing the truth. many expect their love ones. be it friends or partners to always be honest and truthful. not to hide anything from each other. but when one party tells another party 'the truth'. they end up quarelling. sometimes i personally feel being truthful always doesnt apply to all situations. at times white lies would be more appropriate. it will save one another lots of unhappy moments and arguements.

woke up at 11. showered. waited for ken. he was an hour late. came around 1.30. he sent me to my old home to get some stuff. i came down at 1.55. i was thinking of what to get for rachel 21st birthday. suddenly i remember reys working in lasenza and she did mentioned about the idea of getting lingerie for her. ken send me to suntec. he dropped me then he went to parked his car. reys was having her break. i asked for her help and she said she wanted to have a puff first. after she was done. i accompanied her to the toilet but was very packed. after 15 minutes of choosing. i finally bought a set of yellow nightie. after i was done. ken and i went to cafe cartel to grab a quick bite. but wasnt that quick. we left suntec at 3.30. he drove to geylang and i took a cab from there to pasir ris. rachel's chalet was rather difficult to locate. finally managed to find it. slightly later. alvin drove rachel. weili. rachel's mum and i to eat at changi. he drove us back and picked up jodi. eileen. sab and jess at the bus stop. after he dropped us at the chalet. weili and i accompanied alvin to buy his liquor but couldnt find it. by the time we went back. it was 7+. barbeque started. we chatted and gossiped. lin came later. i went to the porch to wait for her. ken came around 12. lin and i give rachel our wishings and bid her goodbye. ken went to tampines to fetch adeline then to bedok to fetch weiyi. he then drove lin back home. finally we headed to sentosa. we arrived at sentosa at around 1.15. met emily and friends. the party was the most boring i ever been. paid 20 bucks for a bottle of heineken. 2 hour plus later. we left the party and went to partyworld at orchard. we booked a room for 6 for 1 1/2 hour. sang till 5.30 then headed home. ken sent everyone home. that wasnt the end. he fetch my family and I to the airport. my mum entered the departure gate at 6+. ken sent me to my old home. i showered and slept at 8.

i woke up at 2. showered and took a bus to grace house. everyone was seated discussing about christ. the session ended at 4.30. grace. lydia. qin. jac and I went into grace's room. qin left shortly later followed by lydia. jac and I watched as grace was uploading songs and packing her first aid kit. we chat a little. i left her house at 6.15 cos grandma is cooking. went to emily's home. she showed me the designer's drawing plan. wasnt quite happy with the design. i called ken while walking to my old home and told him that i was rather upset. at the end of the conversation. i was more upset than ever. but i got over it after some time. i packed my stuff and headed home. had my dinner and here i am. updating me blog.

busy busy week. my aunt is not too happy about me. haiz. whats new.

after work. i went home. was bored so i was looking for stuff to munch. later in the day. i fell asleep for an hour. got up at 6.30. showered and left home. i took the bus to simei then transfer to train. i realised i was rather late already so i alighted at tanah merah and took a cab to bishan to fetch eileen, eunice and reys. e cab driver was talking to me about practising arts and sins. was hoping he would reach bishan soon so that he prob would stop when the rest board the cab. we arrived at mediacorp at 8pm. waited very long till we were allowed to proceed to the studio. good experience how the recording in a studio is actually done. basically fake. haha. we were seated only at 9.30 which means they are an hour late. the whole recording end at 11+.. on the overall. it was rather fun. all the contestants were rather strong.

was late so i called for a cab and went to wala wala bar. got there at 12. mediacorp was rather near wala wala. the cab fare was 3.80 excluding booking fees. queued rather long at the counter. waited like 1/2 hour. ordered and paid for my drink. went up and looked for grace. she was with 3 others. they were supin's friend. we chatted. took pictures before the life band started round 3. the band consists of 4 guys. i preferred the other band the previous time i went though. they sang their last song at aroound 1.30.. i send ken a message to ask if he coulld drive grace and I home. just before i left the bar. he messaged me that he was coming down. hurray~! we waited rather long. took pictures again. i got home around 2.30. aunt wasnt happy. i showered and fell asleep.

there so many activities this week. so many that I had problem remembering. went to sentosa on tuesday. today going to superstar quarter final competition to support Chanel then to wala wala bar. saturday going rachel's chalet and i have yet to get her pressie. argh. not only that. im going to rave party at sentosa after that till 6am. sunday going to gracie's house for party.

but glad that i end work at 3 today. it's discovery 20th anniversary. the full time staff are having a lavish high tea buffet at hyatt. my aunt was commenting that the company is stingy considering it's a big company. there was a big commotion a moment ago. one of my colleague is engaged. everyone was so happy and excited. oh. i forgot to mention that the department has 8 females and 2 males. and i guess a commotion only happens in a mostly female department. haha.

I missed work to go sentosa all for my bestie. havent gone to sentosa for a long time and have been wanting to go. i got up as usual. showered. changed. packed my stuff. and took the opposite direction bus instead of the one i usually take. i dropped at 201 and went to see the doc to get an mc. the medical fees was 32. expensive right? after the doc, i called grace who was already awake. early bird. i asked her if she needed me to buy anything. she said no, she had a can of luncheon meat at home. in the end. i bought a can of sausages. i walked to her place. i was afraid of being spotted by my family members if i were to cross the traffic light cos i was supposed to be at work. so i walked the overhead bridge instead.

she was showering when i got there. i was reading the newspaper while waiting for her. we were taking our time changing, packing, looking for stuff. by the time we left her house. it was almost 10. we took a cab to tanah merah then transfer to train. there was this so typical lazy singaporean uncle in the train. he was leaning against the pole comfortably reading his chinese newspaper while many around him was trying to balance themselves. Just dont understand why there are so many inconsiderate people around. cant they just used their brain that they are being mean and think more for others. the uncle finally got down and i was very glad. we alighted at outram and walked over to transfer to the north east line. while we were walking. for whatever reason. we exhanged one side of our slipper. some observant people who realised made comments but who cares. we were about 15 mins late. shiqin and supin were at the interchange waiting. we walked and met them at the seats beside the queue.

the first thing i got there. siqin tugged me and asked me to accompany her to buy food. being such a nice person i accompanied her.. haha. i bought soya jelly drink. when we went back. supin and grace were already in the queue. siqin and me had to go over the pole to get in queue. soon. the bus came and we boarded the bus. we got to sentosa shortly later. bought tickets and went in. took the blue line bus to siloso beach. we found a spot which was shaded and placed our stuff. all of us except grace went to the toilet. of everyday. my auntie had to visit me at such unappropriate time. we played volleyball. frisbee. soccer. while siqin was tanning. grace. supin and i took the tram to palawan cos grace had a craving for slurpee suddenly and anyway i had to buy some stuff. after 7-eleven. we took the bus and dropped at the next stop which the billabong store. new zealand ice cream and sakae sushi was. we shopped around and bought sushi for tanvi. finally. we walked back to siloso. they suntan while i stay in the shade cos i couldnt tan for fear my aunt would find out. but i still got sun burn. haha. time flew and soon it was time to shower and head for home.

the toliets at siloso was so packed. the queue was so so long. grace then suggested going to sunset bay. we waited for quite some time till it was our turns. by the time we were done. it was 6+. we walked out to take the blue line bus and again queue for the yellow line bus. by the time we were in the bus. it was 6.25. we got to harbourfront soon later. siqin and lydia parted with us. grace and i headed to the train station. i was so exhausted i fell asleep in the train. we arrived simei at 7+. grace accompanied me to NTUC to buy oat. she also bought some stuff. we took bus no. 9. before i went 'home', i went back to my home cos i couldnt go home with such a big bag. i took out my stuff that needed washing and quickly went 'home'. was late for dinn. was lucky no one realised my tan. haha. i had my dinn. watched tv. showered and slept at 11. had a long long day but it was fun. great exercise but bad burn.

Just got home from our class gathering. at 4.45. ken came to send grace and i to marina bay where we met angela, cheryl, rina and wei wei at the control. together we took the bus to marina south. we stood around for a moment after arriving. finally we settled for the steamboat buffet behind the bus stop. we payed, collected our utensils and got our food. yue ming arrived slightly later followed by kian haw. we started tucking in after everyone was at the table. after dinner. we went to the corridor of the arcade and took pictures. countless of pictures. later. angela. cheryl. grace. kian haw. yue ming and i went to breeze bar to chill out. rina and wei wei had to leave cos rina had school the following day and wei wei had to work at 9.30. we chatted and sang a few songs. we also played a few rounds of pool. after the ast game of pool. angela and kian haw came back to the table. we finished up our drinks. footed the bill. yue ming dropped cheryl os her condo then sent the rest of us to tanah merah. angela headed to the train station. shortly later. 38 came. grace and i board the bus.

i had a wonderful time. first gathering after secondary school days. great fun. great peeps. really enjoyed myself. believe everyone enjoyed as much although only 9 turned up. looking forward to the next gathering. but hopefully more peeps would turn up. credits go to cheryl, angela, wei wei and kian haw for organising the whole gathering. big thank you to all of you.

i have known her since secondary days. okie. this has been repeated several times but i just cant help it. since we knew each other existence. we didnt had a good liking for one another for one reason which is not to be mentioned cos its not important anyway. prob i was also jealous of her in a way or other. i remembered she had light brown hair since she came into secondary school but most of the time. she wasnt caught. she would always be excused cos it was natural. i wondered then if it was really natural. later at the end of secondary 2. we were streamed into the same class. we dont exactly hate each other but didnt felt really good about it. the first day of class. she was seated at the back row at the right hand corner. i was seating in the centre of the class. later. i cant remember how we actually talked to each other and became good friends. we would play basketball. netball. swim. table tennis. every other day we would play basketball. we would feel weird if we havent played basketball for more than a day. there were the down times. conflicts. misunderstandings but we always manage to solve them. there were the days where we went to church on sundays together and laughed as the father was preaching. :X sometimes we ended up being scolded by her mum. okie. more like grace being scolded. in class. she would be e one who nudge me when i was dozing off. remind me about tests and projects datelines. encouraging me during exams.

after o'levels. she got into TP while i got into NYP. we would meet up occasionally and I still could feel e closeness. e bond between us. i just feel so myself with her. she never fail to make me feel important. i feel honoured that she actually tell her friends about me. she is the first person who makes me feel she really accept me for who I am. she actually find my blunders and faults amusing and laugh at them. and she always support me nevertheless the choices i've made and always be there. after 3 years of poly life. she is going university of queensland to pursue her degree. leaving on 6 july. feel sad that shes leaving but happy that she has got that opportunity. im gonna miss her so much. i was browsing through her certificates and her achievement for the 3 years. feel really happy for her that she achieved so much. so much more than me. feel so useless. thats beside the point. i just wanna let her know i really appreciated all the things that shes done and really treasure the times. she would be one of the reason for why i would lived for cos she jus makes me feel important. just love her for everything. outings with her are always enjoyable. she would introduced my to her wonderful friends and cuzzy. lydia. soo ping. tanvi. qin and her godsis. Im gonna miss you but im glad that there is internet which makes communication much easier nowadays. must remember to stay in contact and take good care of yourself. i promise i would visit you if i had the ability to. cheers to our friendship! i believe we would definitely be friends for life. i have faith in you. study hard and all the best. Love ya!

I met grace at bugis at 11.45. shes one of the most punctual person i've known. poor grace. always the one waiting for her late buddy. ;p we had teppanyaki for lunch. it doesnt taste as good. after lunch. we shopped around bugis. she wanted to buy a mousepad. we went to the stationery stores at the 3rd floor. e edge. and e push trolleys at the first floor. we were getting late so we headed back to tamp where we met lydia and her bf os ntuc. later. grace and I took a cab back to her place. i helped her fold her clothes while she packed them into her luggage. her notebook finally came. she was installing all e necessary stuff while i sat on the sofa fiddling with my handphone. we were watching the 7pm show when lydia joined us at 5+. after the show. i jus hung around down nothing in particular. at 7pm. i had dinner with grace and dad after much persuasion. after dinner watched tv till 9. headed home and waited for reys reply. at 10+. i talked to ken. he said he would send me to meet reys. i took a shower and headed to cine. met reys and eileen os cine. followed them to the cinema counter. but there were no tickets for any earlier show. ken send them to lido. den we went to his coffeeshop. send his godma home den finally me. fell asleep in the car. so damn tired. got home. washed up and slept at 2.

later meeting my secondary school classmates at marina. first gathering after graduation 4 years ago. yeah~! be meeting up with grace to go together.

looks are the first criteria that anyone use to judge one's character. the cruel fact is that humans are naturally attracted to beautiful things. good examples are guys attracted to beautiful cars and gals probably attracted to cutey stuff. in the teenage years. appearance is the first criteria most look at. as time passes. more and more people would say that 'oh. looks aint that impt. character matters more' or 'i dont go for looks' but how many would actually mean it. some are prob following 'e trend'. but no one is wrong for being attracted to beautiful stuff cos its our nature. but slowly we would really begin to realize that appearance dont last. but how many could actually learn to really put it aside..?

Sometimes I really wonder if everyone else understands themselves as well as they think they do. at least for me i dont. cos many times. my friends seem to understand me better than i do. at times. i cannot give an explanation to the things i do or say. prob i can be considered weird. cos i can be the most hardworking person and also the most lazy person. the nicest person as well as the meanest person. the quietest person and the noisest person. generally i try my best to be tolerant and understanding towards people i care for esp my friends. but at certain times. i can be not only short tempered but also quick tempered. smiling happily now and attitude e next moment. but when conflicts arises. more often i regret for my actions and blame myself for not being tolerant enough. i guess all i can do is to continue searching, understanding and seeking the real me..

Humans are curious at nature. most people start seeking the experience of love at tender age during their secondary school days. some even during their primary school days. its always not easy to take the first step. but everything after that seems to be easier. for most people. they tend to fall in love easily when they are young. probably because of the fact that they are naive and innocent. but i realised as people grow older and more knowledgeable. their expectations get higher and they tend to fall in love less easily. but are these expectations realistic? probably for some. and it gets higher and higher until a certain age. they would then realised that they do not possess the same qualities that they used to. thereafter they tend to lower their expectations.

*24 years old
*loves her family, her girlies and the lovely peeps
*attached to beckie's ride
*is absolutely contradicting
*loves travelling and shopping


*more holidays!
*ipod
*shining luck + bling +