e ones who make a difference..

Wednesday, August 31, 2005 at 11:48 PM

wednesday

at 4.40. i was asked to do 4 reports powerpoint to be due the following day at noon. i was like "what?!" but what could i do? i just simply silently continued with my work. its understandable anyway. had many enquires but hazel wasnt around. so sad. i would always feel lost without her around. i only left the office at 6.40. met keong on the way walking to expo.

together we took bus 12 to parkway and had dinn. we walked around the food centre twice cos i couldnt make up my mind. just before we could find a seat. i needed to go to the ladies. i suddenly remembered my aunt loves going parkway to have something. which is.. steamboat. so we went to the food court and had steamboat. yums! the soup was so sweet at the end of it.

we walked around after dinn. saw charles and keith having a sale and they were selling their footwears at super cheap prices at the atrium. couldnt find any flats so we went to the outlet instead. wanted to get a pair of slippers but was hesitating cos im freaking broke this month. decided not to buy in the end cos they were closing. keong bought me ice cream. wanted to eat anderson's strawberry but they dont have. instead i chose strawberry and peach ice cream from scoopz. not nice de. gelato nicer.

it was 9.30 when we left. we walked to the bus stop and he sent me home. needed to pass him something so he waited outside my door. and guess what? my aunt spotted him. dooms. haha. jk. it doesnt matter though cos she is ignoring me. tried calling him but couldnt get him. didnt knew his handphone batt was flat. waited for my bro as i waited for him. only hit the bed at 1+.

loves

Tuesday, August 30, 2005 at 11:06 PM

painful experiences

i was blogging and came across one of my friend's blog. at the same time im reminded of someone who had recently fell out of love. love can really bring as much unhappiness as it brings happiness. its sad that many things dont work out the way we want them to. often. people have to be selfish to follow their heart. sometimes being a lil crude.

when you are the one being hurt. you are devastated. wonder if he thought of you or still care for you. feelings are still strong. the stronger it is. the more painful it is. all you could think of for the next couple of days or even weeks and months would be memories of you and him. hunger could not be felt. all that is left is a body without a soul. some would try to bring back the relationship. some would cooped for a few days before standing up. and there are also others who isolate themselves and it can go on for weeks and months.

on the other side. being the one who ends it all. there are two kinds of people.
1. sadness there will be. prob not for everyone but at least for me. guilt would find me. i would always try to convey the message the least painful way possible. i would always feel sorry cos i could perfectly understand how it feels like. but love is just so. whats the point of making 2 person suffer when you know it wont work.
2. cold blooded people who probably dont give a damn to your well-being. you can die and thats your problem. she can enjoy herself. eat and sleep as usual. have all the fun in the world. whats the point of being sad for someone all so not worth it. there are still people who cares. people who feels sad and worried to see you in such a state. get hold of yourself and carry on with life. someday you will recover and i always believe there is someone waiting for you in some part of the world. be patient and you will find the right girl. dont give up cos when you do. you will never find love.

i will always be there if you need a listening ear or if you need to talk. *smile* looking forward to see you stand up.

loves

Sunday, August 28, 2005 at 11:55 PM

short weekend

Saturday morning. i woke up to the sound of my handphone beep. received a message from reys. replied her and lazed for some time before getting up. i washed up and turned on the television. decided to make something for keongy and i started getting busy. completed the finished product at 2+. i showered. prepared and headed to keongy place to give him a surprise visit. he was shocked like the first time to see me.

we actually intended to go orchard to get my moto pay and to get a belt for reys but it was too late. we made a trip to 7-eleven to buy soup cos i was craving for it. but we ended up buying more than that. we bought corn crackers which taste like twisties. ruffles sour cream and onion and big gulp. we sat downstairs. finished the drink and soup before heading home. daddy-god-daddy had bought food back. we had some food. thereafter we rested awhile before leaving home. just before we left home. keongy discovered that his wallet was missing. didnt manage to find it. :(

we then went to causeway point to get reys a cake. a belt. spoons and ciggy. we took the train to sembawang and walked to gamy's place. walked quite a distance. was perspiring a little. i called reys to come out and surprised her with the birthday cake. she later said she was expecting a cake from me. so sad. like no surprise. hmph! i stepped into the door and everyone was having steamboat in front of the television. eunice and ah cai. ying ying and jeremiah. joan and eil. gamy was in the room playing game. i gave her her pressies. keongy joined us too. after steamboat. we sat down at one of the rooms and chatted for a short while before eil. jeremiah and keongy left. reys. ying ying. eunice and i played mahjong. we played 16 rounds before taking a short break. it was 4+ by the time we finished the 16 rounds. we continued another 4 rounds before i headed to keongy's place. i couldnt shower and sleep in that environment. he waited for me till 5+.

Sunday morning. i woke up at 10+. had a lil breakfast at the kopitiam and headed to tampines to meet up with lyd. we were a lil late. had lunch with lyd and her sis at the food court. enjoyed the catching up we had finally. it felt good. we parted at 3.20. keongy sent me for my lesson. lesson was fine today. haha. at least i didnt felt so demoralised and the freaking hot weather didnt spoil my mood.

after lesson. keongy and i went to shop and save around the area. bought the ingredients we need. took bus 8 and guess what? we took the wrong direction. haha. we alighted at yamaha and crossed over to the opposite bus stop. we alighted at 201. bought our slippies and milk tea for mummy. it was 8+ by the time we got home. started getting busy. eml and william came shortly after and eml helped in the cooking. bro came back at 9.10 and food was finally served at 9.25. wasnt as delicious cos mummy gave us the wrong powder or was it flour. whatever it is. we were all sitted in front of the television wactching the singapore produced movie on channel 8 while tucking in to our dinn. after the show ended. eml and william went home. i was so tired i took a short nap. was woken up by the attiude and fierce keongy. i showered and dragged my feet home. slept the moment i got home.

loves

Saturday, August 27, 2005 at 5:40 PM

celebration of drew's freedom

friday. was so busy at work. i dont have time to blog. had so much things to do and so little time. but at least i managed to finish everything. i left the office at 6.45 and met keong at my office downstairs. we walked to expo and took the train towards cityhall. we met drew at cityhall. together we took the train to somerset and had dinn at cineleisure pastamania.

after dinn. the two late-comers. jas and sky still have yet to arrive. so we went downstairs and stood at the side. waited patiently for them. after approximately half an hour. i called jas and they were still on the way. arriving in half an hour cos her paper ended late. keong. drew and i decided to wait for them at alley bar. keong had sex on the beach. drew had china blue and i had my usual margarita strawberry. jas and sky finally came. they had mocktail. sky ordered virgin mary for jas and she said it tastes weird. he took a sip and claimed that it tasted like the calbee hot and spicy. drew and keong tried and all their expressions were almost the same. so hilarious.

we slacked there till sky suggested shisha cos he misses it. by the way sky is a lousy liar. oops! haha. he drove us to arab street. sky explained that there are 2 classes there. the cheaper obviously being the lower class one is some sort like kopitiam style where we would have to sit on the floor together with cockroaches. the higher class one had cushions. carpets and is air-conditioned. he was rattling on and not stating how much more is it actually until someone asked. we finally settled for the higher class one which is just few bucks more. well. i must say the place is really cosy. we ordered strawberry and orange shisha and drinks. sky also ordered pizza for poor jas who havent had dinn. they took quite a while to bring the drinks and shisha. my first time trying the shisha. nothing fantastic to smokers but drew seems like he was freaking addicted to it. managed to take a picture of them. they look like those old school opium addict. haha. after one hour. the pizza was still not served and the guys were joking and teasing about it. finally the pizza was served. the pizza actually intended for jas became everyone's cos it took so long the guys were all so hungry. i skipped it though. was sitting in a corner stressing about some family matters and sky could actually add oil to the fire. he said i look like im autistic. thanks har.

we left the place at 1+ and sky drove us to see he-shes around the area (i forgot the street name) then he drove to yishun to see cars and finally to changi to see he-shes again. he looked so tired and sleepy by 3. after changi. he sent me home before sending keong. drew and jas home. thanks sky for the ride! though i might be reprimanded for going home late but its all worth it. i enjoyed myself and i hope everyone did so.

Great Atmosphere

Bling Bling Lights

Keong stoning

Ultimate Shisha ADDICTS!!!

loves

Thursday, August 25, 2005 at 11:21 PM

demoralised

i left the office at 6.30pm and headed to the bus stop. knew i will be late when i got to the bus stop. arrived at the coffeeshop at 7.40+. called instructor to come pick me up. was being pin-pointed and reprimanded about several things. was feeling so demoralised and having low confidence level. but i guess he meant well. probably i would be able to absorb better.

well. its the first time ever that i travel alone and go home alone for my lessons. so pathetic. just not used to it. but i know i have to learn to get used cos no one can be there for me 24/7. was very lethargic the entire day. i dragged my feet home. showered and chatted on the phone for quite awhile better going to sleep.

i really pray hard that i will be able to pass my test which is just 1+ month away. . .

loves

Wednesday, August 24, 2005 at 11:50 PM

24 august 2005 (wednesday)

finally. i was only late for a few minutes today. boring boring as usual. doing the same things. work is getting less interesting. does that mean its time to move on? was surfing like always before i start work. and i found out something not too good which spoilt my mood. but things are somewhat resolved.

lunch was with terry. cheryl. ness and you loong. my all time favourite at changi airport. guess what? ... subway! haha. bought 1 foot long. half for lunch and the other half for dinn. so much for saving money. finally got a lil sick of subway cos the other half that i ate for dinn was all so soggy from the dressing. and its gross.

surprisingly i left the office at 6pm today cos i cant afford to be late for lesson. ness gave me a ride to the bus stop. thanks! that saved me a lot of walking time. i took bus 24 to the centre. keongy board the bus at paya lebar. we alighted and walked to the coffeeshop. the time was around 7.05. the damn travelling time from work to centre is 45mins. which is freaking long. all bcos of traffic jam. instructor came to pick me up at the coffeeshop.

finally learnt something new today. parallel parking. practise till i couldnt felt my feet anymore. i thought instructor was sensitive cos he knew. drove around for some time before heading to the coffeeshop to meet keongy who waited for 1 and 1/2 hour. we took bus 24 to bedok and had dinn. after dinn. i packed some food for aunt. he sent me home before heading to the train station. accompanied him on the phone till the reception got bad. showered and called him again. accompanied till he got home. fell asleep immediately after i hung up.

loves

2:30 PM

debate

a lil something about myself and some thoughts...

im a straight-forward person. i dont go round bushes unless necessary. i dislike fake people. people who go round the bushes to pin-point at others indirectly. say it in my face if theres anything you are unhappy about. stop being childish and stop interfering in people's lives when your life is in a mess. dont be a nosey poker cos that only pisses people off.

and there are the kinda people who dislike someone and yet have contacts with him/her. contradicting huh? probably people are just that contradicting. honest and truthful people are almost extinct.

okie. nuff said. the topic shall end here and i shall pretend that nothing has happened. no offense whatsoever. im not gonna be childish.

loves

10:43 AM

disappointed beyond words -shattered-

I hesitated before putting this entry down. But being someone who cant hide everything like nothing happen. I had to put it down.

I feel freaking freaking dumb. someone who is honest might not be that honest with everything afterall. and to think that i have always been honest in every single thing. my thoughts. my actions. my everything. and the person who aint that honest about everything had to be someone i never thought it would be. i put all my trust and effort and this is what i get in return. not lying but do you have to wait till i asked before you explain the whole freaking matter to me. deliberately hiding is definitely not being honest.

it is just so shallow. you can simply tell anyone about your problems and worse of all. about us. why cant you be honest like i have always been and just tell me. and you probably told that person i dislike her. but its fine. blame it on me being dumb. being naive. but i will still stand up for friends who i care for. i dont mind if people thinks im dumb cos thats me and i know i live up to my conscience. to add on. that person happened to think that things between us would end or would change and not be the way that it is now.

whats a friendship or relationship without trust? without honesty? its only the beginning and i dont see those factors in it. instead i see problems. doubts and lies hiding beneath it. i dont ask for a reason or explanation. i will learn to defend myself. to protect myself. its just all lies! simply disappointed. fading into the distance...

loves

Tuesday, August 23, 2005 at 11:43 PM

a day to celebrate

woke up on time today. showered and wore my new top which i have kept to wear on a special occasion. had planned what to wear days ago. despite waking up on time. i was late cos i had to blow my hair. not that it help much though. my hair is simply so messy. cant wait to change my hair style.

got to the office at 9.30. tried to go to my desk discretely. today's weather aint too good. raining. drizzling. had lunch only at around 1. lunch was at sig with terry. cheryl and ness. day after lunch was busy. meeting after meeting. database to do again. i was looking forward to 6pm cos i know he will be waiting for me. yay!

i left the office after i was done with all my stuff. this shows that im not irresponsible. haha. :X was slightly late. met him downstairs. he had also thought of what to wear way before today. he wore a black long sleeve shirt with jeans and his nike shoes. together we walked to expo and took the train to orchard.

went to tiasa happily but only to my disappointment. called dennis and he said that we could collect anytime before 7pm. that wasnt stated in the message. but today being such a joyful day. this lil thing would not affect me. pui wanted to eat pizza so we went to modesto. we've got telepathy. of all the pizzas on the menu. we chose the same one. haha. he also ordered strawberry ice cream with strawberries and blueberries for me. yummy~!

after dinn. we walked to far east with the intention of taking pictures but the shop has closed down. was sleepy and tired so i decided to head home. he sent me home before taking the train home. i showered after i got home. and fell asleep soon after.

loves

Monday, August 22, 2005 at 11:43 PM

disappointment

the alarm clock rang and i switched it off. then my handphone alarm rang. i switched it off too. wanted to sleep for a few more minutes but suddenly remembered i had to give keong morning call. i stretched for my handphone and dialed his number. was rather surprised that he sounded more energetic than me. few minutes later. i hauled myself outta bed. feeling quite lethargic today. i was thinking of wearing pants. but i later changed to a skirt cos i wasnt feeling that comfortable in the pants. was 15 mins late for work.

had no idea what i was doing the entire morning. but i did finished the tasks that i had to. lunch was at 11.30 at tampines with ness and amin. we packed subway. back in the office. i was complaining to ness how broke i was and i actually thought of not going for lunch. then she said she would lent me some money. how nice of her. never thought of borrowing from her cos i know she is also broke. thanks ness!

was freaking busy after lunch. helping mag with her DVDs and doing the september descriptions. i had to leave the office by 5 to go to Robinsons Road for some work-related task. was looking forward to 5. though busy but happy. until i received a sms that ended my high spirits. i know you didnt mean it and i really dont blame you. but i just cant hide my disappointed. never knew it would affect me so much. i managed to finish my work in the office at only 6. i took a cab to robinsons road to do my stuff. thereafter i headed home for dinn.

relationship between aunt doesnt seem too good. aint on too good terms. most probably its due to me not going home for dinn and always going home late. well. i try not to let it affect me too much. im have grown up and i can think. i have my own thinking and perception. showered after the 9pm show. chatted on the phone for awhile before heading to dreams land.

loves

Sunday, August 21, 2005 at 11:47 PM

yet another homey day

had driving lesson today. i dragged myself out from bed at 9.15. i was ready by 10. keongy was at kallang when i called him. i asked if he wanted breakfast and he said yes. i went to buy breakfast and waited for him while eating my breakfast. after we were done eating. we took bus 12 to expo then transferred to bus 24. like always i was late. and to make matters worse. it was drizzling. i was 20 minutes late. was told to be punctual to be able to learn more stuff. lesson wasnt that interesting but something worth to be proud of. engine didnt stalled at all. okie. it may mean nothing to people. but its an achievement for me.

after lesson. the couple decided to take a cab cos they had something urgent. after settling the urgent stuff. we had kfc. headed to woodlands after lunch cos i wanted to meet reys to get my handphone back. finally. yeah~! chatted for some time with reys before we headed to the cold storage to buy chicken for the second day of chicken stew. the moment we reached home. he showered while i prepared the ingredients for dinn. dinn was only ready at 8+. keongy's chicken stew was much nicer than yesterday. couldnt have enough of it. yums yums! simply love it. we watched tv in the living room after dinn. later keongy taught me how to sing the right way. hes my teacher/instructor. sang till i was sleepy and yet again. i fell asleep. poor keongy has difficulty waking me up each and every time. so tired and sleepy. okie. im the pig kaez? i went home at 11+ and the door was locked. fantastic! i called uncle and he opened the door for me. i guess its a matter of time before my aunt voices out and im sure im gonna get it from her. *scareded*

loves

Saturday, August 20, 2005 at 11:12 PM

homey saturday

simply so great. i finally could sleep till the late morning. woke up. showered and prepared. keong had also woke up by the time i was done. i called him back after receiving a missed call. then i chatted awhile with angela. it feels good chatting with her but i was late. haha. i left home after i packed my stuff and took the bus to the mrt station. met keong at aljunied. we decided on the dish to cook and wrote a shopping list. we went to the ntuc near his place and bought all the stuff we need. oh yar. the dishes were chicken stew by keong and spagetthi by becky - keong clains that thats the only dish every gal can cook. >o< *roar*

we got home at 3+. started getting busy and food was served in 1 and a 1/2 hour from the time we started. not bad huh? keong says it tastes better than jie jie but mummy says jie jie's sauce tastes better. i think his chicken stew was more popular though it wasnt up to his standard. and yea. like always we slacked at home. later i made dinn for him with the leftover sauce and cheese. dinn was rice with pasta sauce and cheese and glutinous rice balls. as expected he loved the rice cos he loves chesse. we were all so full after a day of eating. thought we could finished the glutinous balls but i was wrong. haha. the lazy me fell asleep at 10+ and refused to get up. keong tried waking me up every few minutes and finally i got up at 11+ and headed home.

loves

Friday, August 19, 2005 at 11:58 PM

friday off

i woke up at 7.30 as usual. showered. prepared and packed my stuff ready for the interview. i left home at only 9+. met my cuzy under her block and walked to the mrt station. was doing some reading up on the research i found on the way and my cuzy thinks its dumb. she had 3 files ready for the interview. one of which is filled with all her certs. and the pathetic me only had 2 certs with me. okie. i didnt know that i was required to bring so many certs kaez? but now that i know. the next interview will definitely be a better one. we learnt from mistakes. dont we? by the time we got there. it was around 11. the procedures were rather simple. filling up a form then waited for our turns. the interview was conducted in groups of 10. there were 2 rounds. first is the self intro following by reading of an annoucement.

guess what? no one in my group got in. its like so lame. what are they actually looking for? well it didnt really matter that i didnt got in cos i think i wasnt very prepared though i was crossing my fingers and hoping i would go through. after the interview. my cuzy treated me to lunch at taka. a restaurant opposite mos burger. thinking back. she used to be the one being treated when we were out but now shes the one treating me. feel so pathetic. well. i know its not always gonna be like that. things will turn for the better. i know it will. *crying out loud* im officially broke!

pui finally came at 12+. he joined cuzy and me for lunch but he didnt had anything cos its a meat-free day for him. thereafter we accompanied my cuzy to tiffany. she has a craze for tiffany. but i think shes nuts. paying like 250+ for a necklace and 140+ for a bracelet when she is not earning alot. but den again she deserves to pamper herself after all she has been through. rachel came and we left. we walked around cine. intended to give him a surprise and get him his gothic cross but it was sold out. another opportunity missed. haiz. i bought butterscotch cookies for him to make up for it. poor him. waiting downstairs like an idiot. oopsie! then we went to centrepoint and robinsons to walk around.

feeling so lethargic. we decided to head home. chatted with mummy for quite awhile. then the same ol' things. watching tv and vcds. wrestling. slacking. sleeping. singing. dinn was bought back by daddy-god-daddy. i helped pui unpacked the food and he said i very 'guai' and i was like huh? yea. i left his place at 10+. got home. showered and fell asleep soon after.

loves

Thursday, August 18, 2005 at 4:40 PM

late

one evidence that i cant live without my hp. i woke up 1 1/2 hour later than usual. yesh. which means im late. usually i would set 2 alarms. 1 handphone alarm and 1 alarm clock. the alarm clock would ring at 7.30 and i would switch it off and go back to sleep. at 7.45. my handphone alarm would ring. only then. i would start to get up.

so due to not having my hp alarm. i woke up at 9. i quickly showered. prepared and went out. didnt even drew my eyeliner and blow my hair. i took a cab to work and arrived at 9.40am. haha. i charged my handphone when i got to the office and the first message which came in was from hazel asking me if i was off today or tomorrow. dead i thought. was bored as usual. lunch was with ness. terry and yu long at bedok central. had handmade noodle which wasnt very nice. i felt like in eating for the sake of eating.

after lunch. the cookies i ordered are here. hurray! i could give keong the cookies then. he was also very happy when i told him the cookies have arrived. haha. the cookies couple. basically im damn bored now with eyes barely open. and tons of database entries waiting for me. today's driving lesson is cancelled cos i didnt had mr lim contact. so i couldnt arrange lessons with him. *sad* but the good news is im meeting my sweetie. yay! gotta go back to my database entries before my supervisor complains im not getting anything done.

loves

Wednesday, August 17, 2005 at 11:49 PM

meanie mean me

intended to leave the office at 6 and to head home to be a good girl. but i only left the office at 6.45pm. i usually give myself a target for the things that i have to do for the day. my target for the day happened to be 700 data entries. i was typing about the 650th entry at 6pm so i decided that i had to finish before i leave.

i called keongy when i was walking to the bus stop after work. The famished him was about to have dinn with his project mates. i called reys. she was rather upset about an incident. could felt for her. having mix emotions. worried. upset. and to make things worse. she is sick. after i hung up. i called sky. was very irritated. few factors leading to it are probably first. i waited for more than 20mins for the bloody bus. it has yet to arrived and i was perspiring. second. reys was upset and i was worried about her. and third i was freaking bored the entire day.

keongy called while i was on the phone with sky for like less than 3 mins. wasnt being very understanding. i let my irritatedness take over me. after i hung up with keongy. i realised sky has hung up too cos he waited too long. suddenly i felt a sense of guilt. so i called keongy and he accompanied me through the ride home. i started talking nonsense and i said something to hurt him. i didnt mean it. we didnt exactly quarrelled but i felt his sadness.

so i went to buy him something to distress. then i took a cab to his place. could hear the difference in his voice when he knew i was going to meet him. he bought berries gummy for me to distress and i bought him chocolates. we met near the train station and he hugged me. i could feel his racing heartbeat. we went to his place and watched superstar together. i left his place at 10.30pm and took a cab home. the exhausted me still had to eat my dinn when i got home. it doesnt help that i wasnt a lil hungry. in fact i was pretty full. soon after i fell asleep on my bro's bed. i know im a pig but i couldnt help it cos i was really sleepy. my mean bro woke me up. i showered. called keong to let him know i was sleeping and fell asleep within seconds.

loves

3:20 PM

crappy

took a cab to work cos i had no coins to take a bus. tried going to the mart near my place to change for coins but it was closed. an excuse to take a cab since im so lazy. haha. arrived early at work today. im the first to reach. haha. its been a long long time since im early. same routine. same work. but i edited the powerpoint presentation for close up report. one down and one more to go. but before i can even do the second report. i have to enter all the entries. there are like 15,000 entries and im only at 700 after a week. fine. im slow kaez.

lunch was subway. yay!!! ness and my all-time favourite. we are addicted to subway. ask us about the service at the different outlets. we can just tell you. haha. for example the one at far east. she will ask you whether you want each vegetable one at a time even though you already tell her what you want. the one at airport. beware cos the cashier is so blur she would give you the wrong sandwich. yea. and more. but i bet you wouldnt want to know. after lunch. went to a store selling chocolates but ended up not buying anything. we finally decided on a cake for justin's birthday. bought a chocolate fuge cake. the blueberry cake in the glass display simply look so tempting as ever. had the urge to buy but manage to convince myself that im broke. tried not to look. haha. lame right? i also bought sugar rolls for my colleagues.

back at office after lunch. kinda bored. im crappy today. haha. driving people nuts very soon. hmm. gonna be a good girl today. going straight home right after work to watch television and have dinn. managed to get leave on friday. going for an interview. *cross fingers* wish me luck! i seriously need lotsa luck cos i got no confidence. but i shall act like i have full confidence in myself to pull through. pray hard.

loves

Tuesday, August 16, 2005 at 5:27 PM

tuesday

not a very good start for the day. set wrong timing for my alarm and got up an hour earlier. saw a few messages in my handphone. couldnt get back to sleep after reading them. feel bothered. got up reluctantly at 7.50am. took a shower. dressed up and left home at 8.45am. i gave bus 38 a miss and took bus 12. walked to expo slightly faster than other days cos i dont wana miss the bus. but i was unlucky enough that the bus left before i could reach there. waited 9 minutes for the bus and guess what? i dont have coins at all. i ended up walking to work after waiting 9 mins in vain.

got to office at around 9.20am. boring bored. i hate database. but something i benefitted from this data entry is my typing skills has improved. i dont have to look as much at the keyboard as i used to and i could type much faster. haha. sense of satisfaction. my morning wasnt that fine. realised how childish some people could be and simply cant stand it when people i care are bullied. f*** off slut! (prolly only 2 person knows who im referring to. its a secret. sshhh.) but a message i received did cheer me up a lil. well. went to pack lunch from signature today with ness. then back at the office and bury my head into the huge piles of data entries.

something worth being happy about. im meeting a special someone after work. haha. im not gonna mention who the person is. hmm. my boring day is ending in 1/2 hour. yay yay! =)

loves

1:52 PM

childish

i cant believe there are so many childish people around. i always thought i was childish but it turns out that there are many who are more immature than i do. simply dislike it when people i care. treasure and love are bullied. and i simply cant take it lying. well. i believe the wicked and mean people do get their desserts. i wouldnt be able to get back at them now. but i will do when i have a chance.

loves

1:48 PM

friend

whats a friend?

someone who is always there when you need him
he lends a listening ear when you are troubled
he lends a shoulder to cry on when you are sad
he gives you advice when you need them
and just stay quietly by your side when you dont wish to talk

someone who shares your happiness as well as unhappiness
help you in every way he could when you're in trouble
bless you sincerely from the heart when you are happy
not being jealous or angry when you have no time for him
and always praying that you will be happy everyday

someone who dont give you problems when you're troubled
not acting childish and blame you for things
being understanding and tolerant when you're upset
to symphathize with you and put himself into your shoes
and to give you the assurance that everything will be fine

-dedicated to a contradicting someone-

loves

Monday, August 15, 2005 at 11:10 PM

boring monday

dragged my feet to the bus stop. whole body aching. took bus 38 and strolled to expo. its been a long time since i felt sleepy early in the morning. arrived slightly late at the office. first day at my new desk. was deciding where to walk cos i used to go by the other way when i was sitting at my old desk. computer is up and everything. but the phone aint working. duh~ but its okie. cos i still have yet to need it.

lunch was at changi village with ness. terry. cheryl. yu long and another. ness. terry and i had bak kut teh. the rest went to the food centre. after lunch back at the office. was bored. nothing much to do other than data entry. slacked my time away. keongy had to do project so couldnt meet up. for fear of being scolded. i stayed in the office till around 7 before i headed home.

had dinn. but was still hungry. i deserve it for eating so lil rice. haha. had lotsa junk food. hersey chocolate. kit kat. prunes. dried cranberries. haw and a peach. haha. watched television till 10pm. chatted with keongy on the phone for awhile before heading to the showers. slept soons after.

loves

12:40 AM

packed weekend

Friday. got up at 7.30am. prepared and took some time to pack my stuff for chalet and work through the weekend. met keong at 9am at my bus stop. okie. i was slightly late. he accompanied me to my old home to get some stuff before heading to the train station. we went to nyp to get my cert. finally and without much effort. we had lunch at food junction. thereafter we took bus 72 to hougang central. managed to finish all the surveys by 1.20pm. headed to the train station.

we took the train to outram and transferred to the east-west train. arrived at buona vista at around 2.15pm. waited awhile for andrew. together. we shared a cab to aos building. the briefing ended at 5pm. andrew and keong went to eat at holland. reys. joan and i took the train to bedok. had kfc while waiting for ying xue. ying xue wasnt going early so the 3 of us took a cab to east coast. met chanel and friends. was rather boring. lasted through the night gossipping and playing card games. i took a short nap at 5+am.

Saturday. woke up at 6.30am. slacked awhile outside the chalet. showered and prepared for work. we took a cab to eunos train station and took the train to cityhall. arrived at the hall at 8.50am. haha. late. keong and da jie came shortly later. and he made breakfast. so sweet. we were being brief yet again and distributed to the respective booths. i was paired with joan. the roadshow was so boring and tiring. went for lunch with geraldine. jas and friend. i think i wasnt not being myself cos i was super hyper active. entertaining myself and talking most of the time. hah! the results of sleeping 1 and a 1/2 hour. i thought i was being irritating. but jas was always willing to entertain me. thanks jas! packed lunch for keongy and andrew. time after lunch seems to be crawling. but something worth being happy about. i was presented with a lovely surprise by none other than keongy. nice bouquet of lilies. love it! was looking forward to 9pm. and finally 9pm. thought we could go home already. but ended up having to pack goodie bags. argh..! fedup. by the time we were done. it was 11pm. keong. da jie and i took the train back home.

Sunday. the next morning. late again. haha. keong. da jie and i took the bus to the train station and took the train to clementi cos keong suggested that we were late. we took a cab to suntec. yet another boring day. muscles aching everywhere. arms. legs and even the butt. haha. went for lunch again with jas and friends. packed lunch for the 2 poor boys. at 9+. we started packing. returned all the equipments and waited to get our pay. pathetic! keong and i took the train to simei and he walked me to my old home to put the bouquet of lilies. chatted a lil. knew he was extremely tired but he tried to have a conversation. at 12+. he walked me home. poor darl. im sorry! he gave a smile as usual before he took the elevator down. could see the fatigue on his face. so poor thing. i showered and went to sleep shortly later.

loves

Thursday, August 11, 2005 at 1:14 PM

long-winded day

the alarm rang at 7.30am. as usual. i switched it off and tried to sleep a lil longer. before i could even go back into dreams. my handphone rang. morning call from keongy. i mumbled and went back to sleep. before my handphone alarm rang. i already got up cos of all the shuffling noises my bro was making entering and exiting the room. i got up and showered as usual. i pondered for awhile if i should change my bag cos if i do so. i have to wear shoes. i ended up changing my bag and wearing shoes all because of ness. haha. she has been pestering me to change my bag cos im always digging for something in my bag. lol.

feel kinda weird when i went out the house. im rather particular about colour combination. and whatever i wear has to be able to blend in. but since im already out. theres nothing i could do. so just be it! i missed the bus at expo and had to walk to office. was perspiring but wasnt really irritated. arrived office at 9.16am. the moment i walked into the office. i regretted cos the bag was rather heavy. my shoulders are aching. i went by ness's desk and told her i changed my bag cos of her. hehe. first few hours at work was rather boring. doing data entry.

went to signature with ness to pack lunch. while we were walking to signature. ness screamed and i look towards the direction. ness nearly stepped on something freaking gross. it was a dead rat with more than half of its flesh gone and there were plenty of huge flies which is black and turqoise in colour eating the flesh. it was really really gross. the mentioning of it now brings shiver down my spine. yucks! and guess what ness wanted to do? to take a picture of the gruesome sight. but she didnt succeeded cos while we were walking back. 2 women walked towards that direction blindly and missed the rat just by inches and they frightened the flies away. had our lunch at our respective desks.

usually i cant wait to end work but for today. i dont look forward to 6pm cos the time after 6pm is gonna be tiring. today's location is sengkang area which is like rather far from here. poor ness have to do 15 shops on sunday which is not alot. but freaking alot. haiz. looking to the positive side after all that has happened. i can still smile. called starhub before lunch and was told that i had to pay a penalty charge of 120 for breaking the contract which left merely a month+. lame right? but its okie. the good news. i was allowed to cancel my driving lesson and was permitted to take leave tomorrow. hurray! lets pray tomorrow is gonna be a smooth day sailing for me as it would be for you. lets hope my aunt would allow me to stay over at the chalet. probably i should already be glad that she dont scold or nag as much.

loves

Wednesday, August 10, 2005 at 11:34 PM

work after work

yesterday after work. ness and i walked to the expo cos we missed the bus. i know its my fault. sorry. we took the train to paya lebar and transferred to bus 135. managed to finished only 7 shops. could see that ness was really not feeling too good. shes tired and hungry. we even took a cab to siglap to try to finish one or two more before we end for the day but the damn shop was closed by the time we got there. so we sat down at mac donalds and had our "dinner". dinner at 9.30pm. how great can that be. we walked to the nearest bus stop and took bus 12 back. ness tiredness is shown when she doze off in the bumpy bus. so exhausted. all for the pathetic pay. but its okie. cos we learnt several "lessons" from this experience. (ness: i bet you know what i mean. haha) seriously. it was nice working with ness. a good experience. =)

loves

Tuesday, August 09, 2005 at 11:47 PM

stressed!

the stress is getting to me. argh. going to suffocate soons. things arent going smoothly for me this week. its a stressful week going. ness and i have 32 shops to cover for this whole week. and she cant work on fri and i cant work on sat and sun. which leaves us with today and tomorrow. we are so dead. all so dead. dateline is sunday. and i just remembered i've got driving tomorrow. friday is just gonna be so screwed up for me. first. i got work and have yet to get permission to be on leave. but i already planned to collect my cert in the morning. complete as many moto surveys after the collection. at 2. go for strahub briefing and packing thereafter which i dont know how long it would take. then finally. chalet. i really hope i can stay cos i havent meeting up with reys. eil. ying xue and joan. on sat and sun. i still got starhub roadshow. tell me that its not that bad. self-consoling. everything just gonna be over after this weekend. yay~ how i wished grace was here. she would be there to motivate me. to tell me things aint that bad. haiz.

loves

11:45 PM

kai hui's full month celebration

national day! okie. fine. it doesnt matter to me thou i was happy that its a public holiday. keong and i slept through the day. i woke up at 9+. sat on the couch and watched tv while munching tapioca chips. ate quite abit of junk food and drank cold plain water. the reason i emphasized on the cold plain water. it gave me cramps. haha. okie. i probably deserve it for drinking cold water when i know i shouldnt. pui only got up at 11+.

auntie anna and family came. i showered. got dressed. painted my nails while waiting for pui. i got carried away and left him waiting for half an hour. im sorry. he accompanies me home to get my dosage and to change. we went to tampines and bought kai hui her pressie from isetan. then took the train to his place. he went home to take a quick shower with a time bomb placed just outside the door to remind him of the timeline he had. haha. he changed. styled his hair. got frustrated cos he couldnt get it right. lesson learnt. never talk to him when he got bad hair day. the best thing to do is ignore him. haha. saw mummy. daddy. jie jie and boyfriend downstairs. exchanged a few sentences before heading to granny's place. had dinn at granny's place. just me and pui. after dinn. grandpa sent us to the mrt station. pui sent me home before taking a cab home.

a pretty good day spent with pui though i was reprimanded cos i was late. called sky. reys to catch up. i know reys aint happy about me cos im busy and havent been meeting her and stuff. i feel so bad. but i hope everything will be back to normal after this weekend cos the moto project has ended. i watched tv till 11.30. fell asleep soons after.

loves

Monday, August 08, 2005 at 11:54 PM

good day vs bad day

a boring day. went to work as usual. wasnt quite in the mood to work cos im so exhausted. first mail of the day was from terry. same old topic. deciding where to go for lunch. they were saying that there was a book fair and they seem really excited about it. i wasnt really interested and i was never interested. okie. before you even condemn me. i do read story books kaez? just not so enthusiastic bout it.

at 12.30. ness and i walked to expo. terry and gang were at bk and there were like 6 of them. we decided to go elsewhere. we ended up having "ma lan la mian" and it sucks. dont ever go there. its my first and my last. thereafter we went to the book fair. did saw terry. there were lotsa people and the books are like in a mess without any order. the only seperation they had were the genre of the book. so basically. there was the children section. fiction. non-fiction. chinese. and thats probably all. i was looking through the fiction area. trying to find sidney shelton or dan brown's book but to no avail. i called keong and asked him what author he prefers. the first book that caught my attention was a book on beckham. thought keong might love it. following i found 1 anne rice book titled the chronicles. was really happy. then i found a couple of others. i definitely spent a long time in the book fair. cos i was so engrossed that i forgot about ness and the time. i bought 5 books in total. none for myself. haha.

we left the fair at 3pm. how great was that. walked under the hot blazing sun lugging the big bag of books. afraid of being seen. we went by the alternative elevator. received an email minutes later i was back at my desk. hazel questioned me about my long lunches. felt really bad and guilty. gonna stay in the office next week. then i received goos news. i was allowed to leave at 4pm. yay!

i msged keong and met him at eunos mrt. was late cos i left the office only at 4.30pm. we took the train to his place. he was really happy when he saw the books. touched beyond words. haha. as usual watched tv. sang a couple of songs. i took a cab home again. haiz. broke! but i had no choice. okie i did but it was late.

loves

Sunday, August 07, 2005 at 11:59 PM

weekend burnt

Saturday. woke up at 9+. met keong at my bus stop at 10+. we took a bus to tampines 201. had mac donalds breakfast. finally. haha. after breakfast. we started the motorola survey. a couple of shops were closed so we decided to go eastpoint where i only managed to complete one. then we went to tampines central. keong treated me to hagen daz. yums!

we managed to finish all the central area shops. yay! at the end of it which was 3pm. we were all exhausted. so much for e pathetic pay. i treated keong to ding tai feng for his effort of coming down to accompany me and even had to tolerate with the salesperson's attitude as well as mine. im sorry kaez? he even helped me carry my bag with was rather heavy. thank you! *huggies*

we went to catch a movie. our first movie together. truth about love. rather boring and keong was falling asleep. the threatre wasnt even half filled. but the ending was rather touching though. after movies. we headed to his place. had dinn around his area. i took a short nap and headed home at 11.30pm. had a long day. so exhausted. and tomorrow is not gonna be easy as well.

Sunday. we met at my bus stop at 10.30am. supposingly our meeting time was 10.45am but both of us were early. we went to buy breakfast from my house downstairs and headed home to eat. after breakfast. we took a cab to cdc. yes. cab again. bad habit of us had to change somehow. both of us are freaking broke. waiting for some luck to fall upon us. hehe.

pui waited as i went for my driving lesson. knew he was very tired and the damn weather was freaking hot. so poor thing. after my driving lesson. we took a cab to tampines 201. had dessert. pui had ice jelly and i had cheng teng with lotsa ice. hehe. so perfect for a hot day. and the auntie at the counter could actually ask pui if he wanted hot or cold. anyone having hot dessert in this weather must be out of their mind. was grumpy and didnt felt like doing. but with pui's presence and encouragement. nothing seems that difficult. managed to finish all the shops. esp the last shop. fortunate to have dearest around. (you know what i mean) haha.

thereafter we took a bus to somewhere near tampines mart and walked all the way to tampines mart under the big hot sun. finished up the one and only shop there. then took a cab to tampines st 81. pui didnt look quite happy. dont know why. probably he was concentrating filling up the survey. managed to find the one shop too. took a bus to tampines interchange and transferred to train heading simei. arrived simei only at around 4.05pm when we were meeting ness at 4.30pm. finished the shops in eastpoint which means i have finished all of it. yay! so glad but its yet over.

we took the train to bedok and waited for ness. when we stepped out the train station. there was this auntie sitting in a wheelchair selling tissue paper singing her self-composed song with regards to selling tissue paper. pui bought a packet of tissue from her. then this indian man came by and said something to the auntie and she stopped singing. when a little boy wanted to buy tissue from her. the indian man stopped him and made the auntie returned the money to the boy. i admired the boy. he was probably 7 years old. he seems to know what he wants and was decisive cos he ignored the man. gave the money to the lady and walked away. but the idiotic indian guy managed to make the boy returned the tissue and take back his money. pui just couldnt stand seeing it longer. he asked the auntie what happened and confronted the indian guy who was actually from nea. he told the auntie she couldnt sell outside the mrt station but the auntie couldnt understand english. so he sat there and stopped anyone from buying tissue from her. pui then pushed the auntie to the "non-phohibited" zone. cheers to keong. a good deed done. =)

ness finally came and we started doing the remaining shops in bedok central. when we were done. we took a bus to bedok 57. we overshot one bus stop and had to walk back. we walked quite a distance before we found the shop. my feets were aching and pain from all the walking in heels from 1.30pm. and guessed what? the shop is closed. thanks ness for what she said. haha. jk. then we took a cab to bedok south and we forgot to get the receipt from the cabby. haha. the uncle from the shop was rather attitude cos they were a lil busy. fedup! we waited outside the short for a while and actually did some unpleasant thing which is not meant to be revealed. haha. pui actually completed our last survey for us.

we took a cab. ness dropped at bedok and we went to tampines 201. intended to go pui's place but too late le. :( we had mac donalds at tampines 201. we actually ate the same thing and had the same habit. haha. *secret* we walked the pasar malam and bought food for my aunt and mummy. then took a bus to simei. brought the food to my mum then my aunt. finally headed home. sat at "chor chor" place for a short moment before he walked me home and took a train home.

super duper long day. tiring. exhausted. dying. no single off day for the entire week. no choice. really broke. haiz. but i think the most sympathetic person is pui cos he accompanied me throughout. had to travel long distances to and fro. carry my bag for me. tolerate me. buy my stuff for me. help me find my stuff from my messy bag and more. thanks alot alot pui!

P.S. * Pui's new nickname given by pui himself. =p

loves

Friday, August 05, 2005 at 11:59 AM

my day

the rain finally ceased. i went for lunch with ness. terry. cheryl at rocky master. everyone had jumbo sausages except cheryl. we went to the john little sales but there is nothing much. ness and terry bought ear rings. cheryl bought toys. and everyone left with a cushion. hehe. they were having cushion fight as we walked back to the office. had a good laugh.

after work. i met keong downstairs. we had actually said to meet at expo but he walked down to meet me at my office downstairs. we took the cbp bus to expo. walked to the bus stop and took bus 24. for the first time. im taking the bus to cdc. so it wouldnt be unusual if we didnt get the right place right? indeed we didnt. haha. we alighted at paya lebar road and took a cab. we realised that we actually overshot quite a bit.

lesson was actually 7pm but i got there only at around 7.20pm. instructor wasnt very happy. :( lesson ended at 8.30 cos instructor had another student coming. was reprimanded for not attending lesson on sunday. this time round. i ended the lesson with an unhappy face. quite a waste of time cos i was doing the same time i did for the previous lessons. havent learn anything new. but then again. probably instructor thinks im not ready to proceed. just hope i would proceed the next lesson thou i dread learning parking.

i walked in to cdc and met keong. we walked to the bus stop and took bus 28 to bedok. had dinn. packed dessert for aunt. we then took bus 9 home. had an enjoyable ride cos we were laughing thou the bus was jerky. i got home at 10+. read the newspaper. watch a lil television. talked to my aunt. was waiting for keong to reach home. cudnt cal him cos his handphone was flat. at 12.15. i was so tired. i went to shower. saw his msg when i was out of the bathroom. replied and went to bed.

this morning. surprisingly i got up at 7.30 after the alarm clock rang. by the time i was done bathing. it was only 8am. got a shock cos usually im still asleep. haha. left home at 8.35. but still was slightly late for work cos i waited for the cbp bus. the weather is great today. just a lil warm. going for lunch soon to tampines. and im sure we wouldnt miss the bus again. or would we? whatever! hmm. lets pray that everything goes just fine for the motorola job today. having a mix of emotions. excited. nervous. anxious. scared. must have confidence!

loves

Thursday, August 04, 2005 at 2:37 PM

Afraid

Im afraid of everything
Afraid to love
Afraid to lose
Afraid of loneliness
Afraid of not having anyone to understand me
Afraid of not having someone to talk to
Afraid of not having someone to listen
Afraid of not being able to cope
Afraid of stress
Afraid of breaking down
Afraid of unhappiness
Afraid of quarrels
Afraid that i cannot give the best i can
Afraid i cant be a good friend
Afraid i cant be a good daughter
Afraid i cant be a good sister
Afraid i cant be a good girlfriend
Afraid i cant be a good employee
But I shall just pray that everything will be just fine

loves

11:52 AM

poor mummy

since young. everyone has been telling me to treat my mum better. to listen to her cos its not easy for a single mummy to take care of me and my bro. when i finally understand. people now is telling me how bad my mummy is. but still. she is still my mum. she may not be the best mum but i know she gave all she could. mummy are the greatest people on earth. i feel so sad.

loves

11:46 AM

grey sky

my bro borrowed my alarm clock and he promised the night before that he wouold set the alarm back for me. indeed he did but he forgot to push the button up in order for the alarm to ring. i woke up at around 8.06am. okie. it probably doesnt make any diff cos its the usual time i get up nowadays. i have already thought of what to wear cos i have got driving lessons today. i took my clothes and went to shower. came out of the bathroom at 8.25am. prepared and left home at 8.51am. i decided that i was late so i took a cab.

it started raining heavily soon. the sky is so blurry and dark and the trees are swaying. it feels so good to be dry and comfy sitting in front of my computer. its gonna be lunch time really soon. the weather suits my mood now. had a chat on msn with my cuzy and i feel really sad for my mum who is always being blamed. but i know my cuzy cares for me. but its just sad when i realise that lesser and lesser people can understand me. i guess probably im starting to find myself. to have my own thinking and perception. standing firm on my point and views. but it doesnt seem good either cos im always arguing to prove my point.

loves

Wednesday, August 03, 2005 at 5:53 PM

frustrated morning

had a bad morning. was really frustrated. everything didnt seem right. i got up late and took a long time deciding what to wear cos i was going for the motorola job after work. so i figured i should wear something less casual. i went to shower only at 8.05am. by the time i was ready. it was 8.45am. i quickly dumped everything into my bag without packing and left home. i couldnt stand my bag being so messy. i tried packing it in the elevator. guess what? my key dropped into the gap when the door opened. argh!!!

i was walking out to the bus stop when i called keong. i told him i was very frustrated cos first. i woke up late. then i took a long time deciding what to wear. following my bag was in a mess and when i tried packing it. my key dropped into the gap. somehow my bag and feet seems heavier today and my ezlink card had no money. but that doesnt matter cos the card is not even with me. he consoled and accompanied me till i got to the office. i did felt better thou i was in the same elevator as my big boss and i was rather nervous cos i couldnt understand exactly what he was saying.

went to changi airport during lunchtime with ness and amin. we had subway. my bad day has yet to end cos amin and i ate the wrong sandwich. i didnt realised it until amin had finished his and i had already ate 3/4 of it.

today will be yet another tiring day. im starting the motorola job which means im gonna have no life soon. working all day long 7 days a week. juggling between at least 2 jobs. probably i wont get to see him until saturday. *sad*

loves

Tuesday, August 02, 2005 at 11:55 PM

tiring tired

woke up late for work and took a cab. was feeling lazy and lethargic. it started raining before i could go spinelli to pack salad so i stayed in the office. the rain was rather heavy and the sky is considerably dark. i supposed its not gonna stop raining so soon. just when i thought its going to be a lunch-less day. the rain stopped at 1pm. i went to get my salad and caramel latte.

at 4pm. i met keong at my office downstairs. so thoughtful of him to come all the way down to meet me although he knows he will be all soaked in perspiration. the sight of him brought a smile to my grumpy face. we walked to expo mrt and took the train to my school. we got there at 5.30pm. it was so blur of me. cos we spent 1/2 hour looking for the office. poor boy have to accompany me walked up and down the school and consoling me at the same time. i called so many of my friends but none knew where it is so im not consider that blur afterall.

i finally found the office which was closed at 5.30pm. we had at least walked passed that place thrice. argh!i supposed there was no way i could get it that day so i went to collect my year book and photograph. i called the in-charge and he told me that collection timing was 9 to 5pm. great! i went "huh, what?!" being nice. he asked if i was in school and i said yes. he asked me for my class and name. i collected my year book and photograph. i felt slightly better. at least my trip to school wasnt that wasted even though i could have collected the stuff when i come back another day to collect my cert.

we left my school minutes after 6. we took the train to yew tee and had noodles for dinn. thereafter we went to his place. chatted a lil with mummy before he sent me downstairs to take a cab home. was really damn tired. my eyes were red and could barely open. keong accompanied me on the phone while i was on the cab thou my answers were all less than 4 words according to him. was rather moody. havent been as tired for a long time. i showered right after i got home and slept immediately.

loves

Monday, August 01, 2005 at 11:01 PM

lalala~

great! i missed driving lesson yesterday.

i woke up as usual. showered and went to work. was slightly late for work. okie. a lil more than slightly. 20 mins. work is getting more and more boring. my enthusiam seems to have fade away. my interest is also lessening by the day.

nothing interesting today. gone for lunch with amin, ness, roger, justin and another at changi village. totally had no idea what to eat. to think on the bright side. at least we didnt miss the bus this time round. there was only 1 bus service to and fro. was supposed to work for motorola after work but last minute. ness said that today dont have. got back to work and was counting the seconds till 6pm.

i was packing the consolation prizes for a contest fulfillment. then i started to have an idea and i made something for keong. he called me at 6 after his test. i was busy. i left the office at 6.30pm. i walked to expo while talking to him on the phone. we met at tanah merah and went for lunch. then we played a few rounds of pool before heading home. we sat at "chor chor" place and chatted till 11pm. got home. showered and slept almost immediately.

its been rather tired recently. havent got as much rest as before. but i guess its only a matter of time before i get used to it.

i missed my bestie and the times when grace, lyd, supin, qin and me were out together having lotsa fun. life seems to be less noisier and boring without her.

loves