Thursday, October 27, 2005 at 6:30 PM
a mixture of emotions
before i left the office. ness asked me to watch a program about a lil boy who had a tumour for a face. he is 5 years old and his tumour is larger than the size of his face. its so bad that its beyond words. he couldnt opened his eyes and he didnt had a nose and lips. the boy went through 3 operations to remove the tumour. the doctor couldnt remove the entire tumour cos the tumour had destroyed his facial bones. they had to shape the tumour into a face. after the 3 operations. the lil boy still had to go through plastic surgery so that he would have eyes, nose and mouth. the program featured many gruesome sight of the operation. by the time i finished the program. i was feeling a lil sick.i always tell myself that im lucky and i should be contented with everything i have cos im healthy and well. i have got lotsa friends who care. family who loves and dotes on me. boyfriend who lessen my burden at work and cares endlessly for me. in a way. its an encouragement for me to spur me on. to persevere and strive hard in whatever i do.but at times. i really really feel like giving up. i would tell myself that nobody really understand what im going through. having to struggle with so so so many things at a time. i cant afford to fall sick. not at all. cos i got to work every single day. i got to be responsible. probably i have been too tough on myself. probably everything would still function normally without me. probably im not that important after all. its tiring having to smile at people all day. to be nice to everyone. to explain things when there are misunderstandings . . .anyway back to life!i left the office at 6.15. took the shuttle bus to expo and took a train to somerset. i arrived at somerset at 7. met reys outside the mrt. together we went to cine food court for dinner. we had duck rice. after dinner. mr kee came. we went long john to slack as usual. after mr kee left. we waited for ying xue. the 3 of us took a cab to momo for a drink. ying xue had 10 and reys and i had 7 each. we left momo at 11+ and headed to zouk. ying xue started vomitting. we had to take care of her. later i started feeling dizzy as well. poor reys had to be the nanny this time round and take care of us. its been hard on her. i heard her calling so many people when i was half conscious. gary came soon after. i heard his voice and i peeked up. i saw gary with a friend. i tried to see who was that but i couldnt. gary told his friend that im staring at him. the next thing i knew. reys told me that ken is sending me home. i didnt even know he was there. anyway he asked me where i wanted to go and i told him to sent me home. he sent me to my block and walked me home. the moment i got home. i fell asleep on the sofa.i woke up at 7+. i heard a familiar voice asking "are you okie?" i was so shocked to see keong at my place. he was at my place since 3.30am and had been taking care of me. he even bought me breakfast. he didnt reprimand me at all. i guess he was more worried than angry. he accompanied me till 8.30 before he headed to work. i slept till noon. woke up. showered and headed to work. just before i left home. my mum sort of scolded me all bcos of keong. but well. he was very happy about it.i must promise myself that i cannot get drunk again. simply sucks! i rather be the nanny all the time than to be the the one being taken care of. i hate the giddy feeling. i hate feeling nauseous. i hate puking. i hate hangover.BIG thank you to keong. reys and ken for taking care of me. im sorry. reys had to handle all the shit alone and didnt even had the chance to enjoy at all. ken was so innocent to have to send me home and keong had to rush down in the middle of the night to take care of me. dui bu qi!!!
loves
