Wednesday, August 15, 2007 at 7:48 PM
nothing good
its been a rough day..i've been a highly hazardous road user today. i dont know if its just me or the traffic.1) i changed from second lane to first lane and suddenly this bus in front decided to do just the same. lucky enough, he checked his blindspot and notice the tiny black sheep im on.2) i decided to be a bad girl today and cut queue. when i tried to enter the lane, which the vehicles were turning right to ecp, i realised the light turned red. my first instinct was to stop and i landed in the right turning pocket when im supposed to be behind the white line. that wasnt it, because of stupid ol' me, the vehicle behind me was also in the most arkward position, right behind me. he must be thinking: "women shouldnt be on the road! stupid woman, cannot make up her freaking mind, want to cut queue but never complete the turn, and because of that, i had to stop in the middle of nowhere."stop judging. im guilty enough la. i was like reprimanding myself as i travelled on ecp. =/ there were many other occasions when i thought i was going to hit or be hit by another vehicle. maybe because i havent been riding for a couple of days, or beckie's ride is just throwing tantrum.anyway, besides the traffic, work and life has been bad for me. i have been rushing to finish my work like almost everyday. been thinking about things. i recall how i used not to be able to accept unfairness, but i realised life is never fair. i want so badly to pour out my feelings so they know how i feel but i know i cant. i tell myself "if you want anything, work hard for it. dont expect. depend on yourself." i really dont know how to cope with my feelings and thoughts, i know its not her fault but i cant help ignoring her. how do i handle my feelings, forgive and forget about the harm she has brought to me?i should really stop just saying and start doing something about my life. i have no drive, no determination. i think i've been very selfish and its really time i do something about it. i shall take drastic measures to change my life. i want to leave my comfort zone!-if you fail to plan, you plan to fail-
loves
